Loved Ones

I am being gently pulled out of sleep by one of the most wonderful sensations I could wish for. A breeze of fresh air is softly stroking my cheek. My eyes are still closed but I know immediately where I am. The usually quite common morning disorientation stays absent and instead a feeling of belonging spreads through my veins. A warm hand is what has woken me up. It is slowly gliding around my waist, pulling me closer into an embrace full of love, warmth, and safety. Still half asleep, I can feel his soft touch moving slowly from my left waistline over my stomach, and underneath me, slipping between my right waist and the bed sheets. He lifts me up, just the tiniest bit to move me closer. I can feel his muscles working in his arm, tightening around me, protecting me. The warmth of his body pressed against my back is slowly spreading through me. I can feel his legs lying behind mine, his stomach pressed against my back, and his warm breath in my neck.

His left hand encloses my upper arm, placing his fingers one by one on top of it, holding me tightly. In every touch I can feel his attentiveness, which is at the same time, accompanied by a subtle nuance of longing. It feels like he is very cautious not to hurt me but wished to hold me a lot tighter. I don't dare to move, afraid of compromising this perfect moment. He buries his face into my hair, inhales deeply, and pulls me even closer. It feels like the safest place on earth, in-between dream world and reality, protected, loved, and valued. I realise that our breathing has synchronised to the same rhythm. Breathing in together, and out together.

Very slowly, he lifts his hand towards my face. My eyes are still closed but I can feel his movement all around me. His fingers caress from my forehead, over my cheek and then spread over the back of my head, pulling loose strands of hair out of my face. If only he knew how much I appreciated this little gesture. He repeats his movement a second time, making sure that all my hair is pulled back from my face. I press myself closer to him, bury my face deep into the pillows, and listen to his strong and steady heartbeat. With a deep breath, I inhale his scent, which is covering the pillows. It smells like honey and summer, sweet and warm. I can feel the continuous rhythm of his heartbeat being passed on from his chest to mine, like a reassuring message. The calmness that is spreading from his body covers me like an extra duvet.

With a soft kiss on the back of my head, he moves his arm back in front of me, hugging me tightly again. My hand is already awaiting his and I slowly intertwine our fingers. Once they are completely interlocked, we both enclose each other's hand just a bit more, to maximise contact, giving each other a feeling of support and desire. I lift up his hand to my lips, softly kiss his palm and then return to embracing his arm. We stay like this for a seemingly long time, both of us relishing the moment, and valuing each other's company. I let go of any tension left in my body, allowing the happiness and calmness to take over inside of me. I simply let myself be - in this very moment, sheltered by his embrace - and fall back asleep.

Tamara Müller